Godfrey Birtil, 'When I look at the Cross'

When I look at the blood
All I see is love, love, love.
When I stop at the cross
I can see the love of God

But I can't see competition
I can't see hierachy
I can't see pride or prejudice
or the abuse of authority
I can't see lust for power
I can't see manipulation
I can't see rage or anger
or selfish ambition

But I can't see unforgiveness
I can't see hate or envy
I can't see stupid fighting
or bitterness,or jealousy.
I can't see empire building
I can't see self importance
I can't see back stabbing
Or vanity or arrogance.

I see surrender, sacrifice, salvation,
humility, righteousness, faithfulness, grace, forgiveness
Love Love Love........
When I Stop!....at the cross
I can see the love of God.

Amy Carmichael-Food For Thought...

Often I think we sing and pray a little beyond what we are really prepared to do or be and sometimes God comes to us and says "now live what you sang to me yesterday" or, "live what you have taught others," or, "Are you willing to do this, not just to pray to me about about it?" Amy Carmichael

Grace

I was chatting with a friend the other day about Grace. As we talked, I was prompted to think about my own experiences of receiving this wonderful gift. I wrote the following afterwards.

Grace is with us all the time, yet grace visits us, deep inside, when we are battle weary, tired out, almost asleep. Grace is always there but grace especially awakens our inner man to it's beautiful truth when we are struggling deep inside life's mysteries and life's chaos. Grace is a friend, like a beacon in the night for the weary pilgrim. It overwhelms the darkness and humbles us. We do not deserve such love, such acceptance, such forgiveness. 'Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling'.

Grace enlightens our path back to the cross. For grace called us to that place to begin with and opened our eyes to such love. Grace found us not guilty even though we were, in every possible way. Grace revealed Jesus and took us from darkness to light. It is grace that shows us our true home once again, deep inside the cross of Christ. No more striving, no more trying harder. We are undone and have nothing to give except our hearts, empty of passion, empty of works, empty of former glories. We offer ourselves with nothing to give and nothing to hide. We look into his eyes and understand again what drove him to the cross for us. We see love. A love of a bridegroom, desiring his spotless bride. That is grace, to love us enough to die to rescue us.

In our wilderness and wastelands, when we have nothing left to give, we meet grace. Grace is our friend and grace is our life line. Grace whispers to us that it will be alright. Grace is gentle. Grace is knowing that despite how we feel, God is with us, carrying us, allowing us to just be. God never changes and nor does his love. Grace is knowing that we are loved by God even when we know we don't deserve it and grace is that outpouring of love when we least expect it. Grace is undeserved and unfathomable. That is grace, so very kind.

Grace is a gift and to understand grace is a privilege yet I am unsure if any saint will ever really understand its glorious power, its glorious freedom and its glorious strength. Grace is something we continually need and yet we will only really understand grace when we stand before our King and are welcomed into his presence. I think we will then truely understand grace.

'Through many dangers toils and snares I have already come, twas grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.' John Newton, Amazing Grace

Amen

Spring Bulbs

I have been working in my beloved garden this week. Each day I have watched more bulbs work their way out from beneath the cold dark earth, littered with autumn's remains. The garden can often be used as a picture of the spiritual life and as I read the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8, I sensed that connection again between spiritual truth and my lovely flowers coming forth out of the ground. In my mind I could see underneath the ground, just below the surface where it was dark and cold. The bulb was begining to stretch upwards and out of its hiding place towards the light above. A small hole appeared in the ground and a centipede with its many legs began walking up the hard brown soil until it squeezed itself out into day light. I was reminded of sin and how it can bond itself to us in a hundred ways, like the centipede's legs. It doesn't matter how many sins exist, how hideous they are, and how much we are tempted to hide them in the dark of the ground - with the blood of Christ we can bring them up out of the hole and into the light of Christ where there is always forgiveness.

The woman caught in adultery was brought to Jesus by the crowd who were ready to stone her to death for her sin. Jesus reminded them of their own sins and their judgement of her. They soon left. Even though Jesus had the right to judge her, even he did not condemn her. In the presence of a holy God the woman found mercy not condemnation. Jesus did not sentence her to death but to life. His only command was that she now go and leave her previous life of sin. Once we have found the light of Christ we are exposed to the reality of sin and can live in the freedom of Christ's life instead. Immediately after this passage, John writes of Jesus' declaration in being the light of the world and that those who follow him no longer walk in darkness but in the light of his life. Again the picture is of sin being something dark and awful, keeping people in bondage and hidden deep underground beneath the light above. When the bulbs come out of their hiding places after a long hard winter, they bloom into beautiful daffodils, crocuses and snow drops. They litter the barren garden with an array of colour and warmth. They are beautiful. Isn't that a picture of ourselves when we have found salvation in Jesus? We no longer belong to the darkness of sin but live above ground in light and beauty. We ourselves are beautiful as we carry the beauty of Jesus within us.

Living above the ground is so much better than living below it. Sometimes sin entangles the Christian again and the dark earth becomes their home for a time, but there is always the hole above with the light beckoning them to come out of their hiding place again. There is always light and life above, always hope, always mercy, always Jesus.

We Fly Away

Psalm 90 says 'the length of our days is seventy years or eighty, if we have the strength,
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow
for they quickly pass and we fly away.'

As quickly as the hour passes when we are happily and busily enjoying an activity, and as slowly as the hour passes when we are waiting for some mundane part of every day life to end, so life itself passes by, never without some feeling of excitement, sadness or boredom. Life runs along it's time line which we have no control over. We are born into an existence that we didn't ask for and into a place on that life line that we may have not chosen. Our appointed place in the expanse of history and future is here today, in health or in sickness, in riches or in poverty, in company or alone. For many in the world the laughter lines grow, but for many more, the frowns grow quicker.

There is nothing more frail than life itself. We never know when it will leave. Haiti and other terrible natural disasters remind us of this, and so do those sicknesses and deaths nearer to home. Life comes when God appoints it to come and life finishes when he chooses too. We move and glide and follow life as it allows us to feel it's presence, whilst it puts breath in our lungs and when it stops, we feel this earthly life no more.

Death is something so taboo in our society and yet we all must face it's realities at some point in our lives. It is something very real and one day all of us will just 'fly away' as the psalmist writes. It is the Christians hope that we fly into a place of unbelievable joy. As I watched my own father pass into this place I was unexpectedly filled with two conflicting emotions. In the surreal atmosphere of this moment and those minutes afterwards, I felt deep sorrow for his loss and yet a huge excitement at the same time. Whilst I felt that sting of his death in my inner core, my heart felt relieved and excited at the thought that he was now in the company of Jesus, away from all pain and sickness and in wonder of the God who had saved him.

We know as Christians that we are just passing through this world. We will one day be taken to our real home, that is with Jesus in heaven. I personally can't wait for that day.

Beacon in the Night

I know that I haven't been blogging for some time. Life has been meandering through some difficult times. I am so thankful that we never get to see into the future or else we would sit worrying about how we would manage life with all the twists and turns that we would see. I am thankful that as Christians, when we arrive at some of those difficult places, we can trust God to be the beacon of light in that dark night. He never fails us, his love is always there, even if we do not feel his presence or sense him. His word promises us that he is there and that he will help us. He is no stranger to any difficulty that comes our way. His ways are always higher and we must rest in that. He helps to lead us through those times even when we don't ask for his help because it is his responsibility to shepherd us and get us through this life and into glory. Even if that path seems murky and full of darkness, and we become temporarily blind, it is still God's heart to rescue us and lead us into clarity again.
The last few months have not been easy as I said goodbye to my dear dad and prayed him into the eternal hands of our loving heavenly father. There are many emotions that one feels when when walking through grief and sometimes the conflicting emotions are hard to understand. I know that it is something that only God can truly comfort us in and he does, in many ways. He is our beacon of light in that dark night too. He allows us to feel that real loss and yet we have a hope of the next life and of being with them again. That is something that I am eternally grateful for. We always have hope as a Christian. Hope is a wonderful thing.

The Lord's faithfulness

I have had a song in my head for about the last week. It's an old vineyard song called 'Who is Like You?' The words are from Psalm 89 and declare the love and faithfulness of Almighty God. Seasons come and seasons go in life. I bumped into a couple that I haven't seen in ages yesterday. We shared all that is going on in our lives at the moment. We talked about the busyness and how cluttered our lives can become and how when other unexpected things happen, we can sometimes feel that there is just no room for them in each day. Some how though, they squeeze their way in and I think that it's by the grace of God that we are kept strengthened and shielded. I think that because the Lord knows his plans and purposes for our lives and ordains our steps, as each day unfolds, it is the Lord's responsibilty to then shepherd us through all the twists and turns. The Lord's faithfulness is never ending and stands firm forever.

'I will sing of the Lord's great love forever,
With my mouth will I make known his faithfulness,
I will declare, his love stands firm, I will declare, his love stands firm,
O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty and your faithfulness surrounds you,
O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty and your faithfulness surrounds you,
There is none in the heavens who is like you,
The holy ones in heaven greatly fear you,
The heavens praise your faithfulness,
The heavens praise your faithfulness,
O Lord God Almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty and your faithfulness surrounds you.' Andy Park

Psalm 89, which that song is taken from, declares that God's faithfulness surrounds him. God is totally faithful and dependable. Verse 8, says 'O Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty and your faithfulness surrounds you.' Verse 14 declares the truth that 'righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne, love and faithfulness go before you.' The Lord's faithfulness to his children is a marvellous thing. It is part of who God is and it goes before him, with him and after him. When we hit unexpected times in our lives we must always remember these truths and rest in their strength. As we live in his faithfulness to us, we can begin to see how our loving heavenly father is with us, even if we can not fully understand why we must travel a particular path. We can learn to sing of the Lord's faithfulness like the psalmist. 'Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness. For you are their glory and their strength.' Psalm 89:15-16

The Handy Prayer!

I read this in my bible study notes and thought I would share it here as it reminded me of the many needs around us and how we can remember to pray for them.
'George Reindrop in his book, No Common Task, tells how a nurse once taught a man to pray and in doing so changed his whole life, until a dull, disgruntled and dispirited creature became a man of joy. Much of the nurses work was done with her hands, and she used her hands as a scheme of prayer. Each finger stood for someone. Her thumb was nearest to her and it reminded her to pray for those closest to her. The second finger was used for pointing and it stood for all her teachers in school and in the hospital. The third finger was the tallest and stood for the V.I.P's, the leaders in every sphere of life. The fourth finger was the weakest, as every pianist knows, and it stood for those who were in trouble and in pain. The little finger was the smallest and the least important and to the nurse it stood for herself.' William Barclay, The Daily Study Bible on Philippians, Colossians and Thessalonians

What is God like?

A friend reminded me yesterday that a blog should be regularly updated and that mine wasn't! I told him that I was waiting for inspiration! Actually, just last week I found some old notes I had written whilst reading a book by A.W.Tozer some years ago. The book 'The Knowledge of the Holy' is THE only book that I have ever managed to read cover to cover in one day. Admittedly, I was ill - but it was one of those few books that totally gripped me. The God he described was so immense and so wonderful that I felt myself lifted out of the ordinary and into the supernatural. Whilst the truths he described about God were truths I already knew, he somehow managed to elevate my mind into a small corner of God's world, to see him afresh, his attributes, his very being. It just blew me away. Sometimes we do need to pick up our face and look upwards afresh to the great and mighty God that we serve. Sometimes an author can really help us to do that and I would absolutely recommend this particular book. It can do us the world of good to be caught up in the heavenlies again. I thought I would share some of my paraphrased notes from Tozer's book here.

"Left to ourselves, we tend to immediately reduce God to manageable terms. We want to get him where we can use him or at least know where he is when we need him. We want a God in some measure that we can control. We need the feeling of security that comes from knowing what God is like, and what God is like is, of course, a composite of all the religious pictures we have ever seen, all the best people we have known or heard about and all the sublime ideas we have entertained."

"God is completely self sufficient, all life come from him, he does not need anything like created beings because he contains all life within himself. Creation and life itself is a gift from God and all due to his sovereign good nature. He does not need us and receives nothing that he has not first given. God cannot be elevated. Nothing is above him and nothing is beyond him. He is responsible to no one, he is self existent, self dependent and self sufficient. God exists for himself and man exists for the glory of God. 'The father has life in himself' John 5:26.."

"God is eternal, he never began to exist, began is a time word. God dwells in eternity but time dwells in God. He has already lived all your tomorrows and already lived all our yesterdays. He is the beginning and the end of time simultaneously. Because God is eternal, he can be, and continue forever to be the one safe home for his time driven children. 'From everlasting to everlasting you are God' Psalm 90:2.."

"God is infinite. He knows no bounds, he is without limit and we cannot measure him. God is without growth or addition. Life is finite but God's love to us in Jesus is infinite, limitless, measureless and boundless. His love is something HE IS and because that love is infinite, it could enfold this entire world and still have room for ten thousand times ten thousand worlds besides."

"There may be attributes of God in the divine abyss of God that we know nothing about or could even understand - just as the angels would not understand mercy and grace. All God's attributes harmonise and blend into each other, no attribute contradicts another.

"God cannot change, he is the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing he has ever said about himself can change. God's attitude to us does not change. It does not change from eternity past to eternity future. He does not change his mind. His office door is always open. His mood does not change. He doesn't cool off or lose enthusiasm. 'I am the Lord and I change not' Malachai 3:6.."

"God is omniscient. He knows himself perfectly and cannot be taught. He knows all that can be known. God is omnipotent. He has all power and it's without limit. He has at his command all the power of the universe and does not need to look outside of himself for strength. He gives strength and power to his children which is never failing and never ending. God is omnipresent. He is everywhere, next to everyone and close to everything. No one can hide from his presence: on earth, in heaven or in hell. There is no limit to his presence and we are never alone. He is always with us whether we can sense him or not. In him we live, move and have our being."

"God is wisdom. The wisdom of men or angels is but a reflection of the wisdom which streams from the throne of the majesty in heaven. All God's acts are done in perfect wisdom."

"God is faithful, just, good and holy. He is full of goodwill towards men, tender hearted and quick to sympathise. That God is good is taught or implied on every page of the Bible and must be received by faith. God is kind, can never be less kind and can never be more kind. So kind is God that he never counts our sins against us as we deserve and has as much confidence in us as if we have never sinned."

"God is holy. All of his attributes are holy. He has imparted his holiness to us through Jesus Christ. When the holiness of God comes to a person it is a dreadful thing but we can hide our unholiness in the wounds of Christ. We take refuge from God in God. God sees us perfect in his Son."

"God is absolutely sovereign. He possesses all knowledge, all power and is free to do whatever he wills. He possesses universal authority, no one is higher than him or mightier than him."

Tozer says the following:
"..to bring the church out of Babylon, we need to acquaint ourselves again with a transforming vision of God. The God we must learn to know is the majesty of heaven, God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, the only wise God, our saviour. He is the one who sits upon the circle of the earth and who stretches out the heavens as curtains, who brings out his starry host by number and calls them by name through the greatness of his power."

What an amazing God we serve and are so privileged to know. It is good to remind ourselves of just who he is and remember that with him we can do all things, and with him we have such security. This same God, who is awesome and holy and majestic and marvellous, who sits in unapproachable light and who the whole earth and universe is subject to, loves us with an unending and unstoppable love. A love than can never change or end because God IS love. It is who he is. Maybe when we think of love being contained in such a magnificent and limitless being we can understand just why he sent the Lord Jesus to die for us and make a way for us to know him again. Such love will do anything to reconcile and heal those he has created.

"I Am that I Am" Exodus 3:14

Motherhood

'A Piece of Plastic Clay'..... an anonymous poem.

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded to my will.

I came again when days were passed,
The bit of clay was hard at last,
The form I gave it still it bore,
But I could change that form no more.

I took a piece of living clay,
And touched it gently day by day,
And moulded with my power and art,
A young child's soft and yielding heart.

I came again when years were gone,
It was a mind I looked upon,
That early impress still he wore,
And I could change that form no more.

Loving Others

'Twas not the truth you taught, to you so clear, to me so dim;
But when you came to me you brought a sense of Him.
Yes from your eyes He beckoned me, and from your heart His love was shed,
And I lost sight of you and saw the Christ instead' Anon

Getting out of the boat!

I was thinking today about that old phrase 'get out of the boat'. It's a well used saying in Christian circles to inspire faith in people to do something with their lives. I think that a book may have even been written about this subject. It is true to say that many Christians find it really hard to do what Peter did. We can spend our whole lives in the boat looking out at those who are attempting to walk by faith on uncertain waters. We can even be jealous of such people as we watch how they develop a depth of trust and experience of God that we can only aspire to. What does it even mean to get out of the boat and what does it matter if you don't?

My experience of this is obviously limited as I have never decided to sell the house, pack my bags, up sticks and move to the Congo, for example. But I think we can limit this idea to the really big changes in life, rather than looking at those nearer home. We all have a call on our lives and all of us as Christians are required at times to get up and get out of our boats and tread the uncertain waters of the unknown. It is not always such a big deal but sometimes it is. I passionately believe, due to the Lord's dealings with me, that whatever he asks of us that requires that step of faith will be accompanied by faith which he supplies in abundance. He isn't waiting for us to sink but is right there with us, just as Jesus was with Peter, accompanying us on our journey.

I love the fact that the Lord is so utterly and completely patient with us and our uncertainties and fears. For several years, my husband literally went on and on about the call he felt God had laid on his heart to go to Bible college. My reactions were at times pretty negative because I not only didn't share this vision, but I also had no desire to step out of my comfortable boat thankyou. But when the time finally came to make that decision it was so amazing to watch the Lord step in, take my hand and reach in the boat and ask me to come along with him and Allan on this journey of faith. It was such a faith builder, as I took the steps, he just poured out his faith into my heart and confirmed his will for us as a family again and again. In some ways, once that intitial step was taken, which for me required lots of faith, the rest required barely any. The Lord just undertook in so many wonderful ways, the money came rolling in from some most unexpected places and pretty much everything has fallen into place with no striving at all. What an amazing God.

During this time, the Lord spoke to me with many scriptures but some were confirmed over and over. If there was one recurring theme, it would be this particular scripture: '..they left their nets and followed him.' I can honestly say that the place of indecision, of not fully laying down your life for the Lord and being fearful of the consequences of completely surrendering yourself to God is like having one big net placed over you. It's not living in the freedom and delight of Jesus. It's a place that robs and steals purpose and prevents you from having the awesome experience of trusting God completely and watching him come through for you again and again. Of course, he never makes anyone get out of the boat, it is always our choice, but that first step of faith and obedience changes your experience of the Christian life. It is just different. Watching God at work in this way is a treat, a privilege and joy.

I would say that many Christians, if they are honest, could identify with this battle of the wills before they give over completely to the Lord's will or direction when it may mean something new. It's unknown territory, it can be full of excitement and full of fear at the same time. A lot of honest testimonies will speak about the battles that went on before they stepped out of their boats but don't they all continue to speak of the Lord's faithfulness to them and his continued grace? - Not to mention their fruitfulness for his kingdom, whether seen or unseen, in their lifetimes. Stepping out of the boat rolls of the tongue in sermons and challenges alike but God knows us and the battles we fight, before we finally make those steps. Those battles can last years sometimes, and yet the Lord is exceedingly patient with us and brings us to that place of surrender, eventually, and when we step out we are stepping into safety. Peter wasn't out on the water alone after all was he? He was with the mighty God himself in bodily form and so as we fix our eyes on Jesus rather than this world, so we too can experience that same freedom.

'And I will fear no evil for my God is with me and if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear?
Oh no you never let go, through the calm and through the storm,
Oh no you never let go,
In every high and every low,
Oh no you never let go, you never let go of me.'

Matt Redman

Envision 09 'The Great Commission'

We recently went to the New Frontiers regional conference, 'Envision'. It was a great time to be challenged again about the great commission and the world that surrounds us here and abroad and their need of a saviour. One of the speakers reminded us about the short time that Jesus spent with his disciples after he was ressurected and how Jesus taught for these 40 days about what was most important in the kingdom of God. It prompted me to read the four gospel accounts afresh to see for myself what exactly Jesus taught. If it was important to the first group of Christians back then, then it must be as important to all Christians that have followed since.

As I read the gospel accounts I could see that firstly Jesus spent time with people again, explaining the scriptures and how he was the fulfillment of them, and proving that he was indeed fully God and fully man. He was gentle, kind and compassionate to those who were doubting, helping to produce faith in them. His grace and kindness continued as he proved that he was a loving and forgiving saviour, particularly revealing this to Peter who had denied him. He showed that he was both God and man by performing miracles, appearing and disappearing suddenly and yet resuming normal activities such as eating with them. He then breathed on them to receive the Holy Spirit, allowing them to experience his life and power. Finally he commissioned them to go into all the world and tell everyone, from every place, about himself, and his plan of salvation for mankind.

I was reminded that his plan for his church has not changed and he still longs for his bride to increase. The kingdom of God is a place of security and love, where Jesus will receive anyone who comes to him and asks for forgiveness. What a wonderful kingdom and what a wonderful King. As we live in this kingdom, aliens and strangers to the world but accepted and cherished by the God who made it, we too have a great high calling. We too, once we understand who Jesus is and have entrusted our lives into his safe hands, can share his life and love with people around us. We may never venture further than our little Jerusalem but we can still love people, care for others and offer them a hope that is real and living. The kingdom of God is not complicated, it really is so simple. We invite Jesus into our lives and let him live his life through us, in whatever way he chooses. Its a privilege to belong to his kingdom and a privilege to love and care for others, both in our own backyard or further afield if he calls us there.

The Israel Diaries (2005) -part 1-'The mountain climb'

I have been very privileged to visit the Holy Land twice.The first time was about 18 months after becoming a Christian and, whilst full of zeal, I did not know the Bible very well during this visit. The seven years that have passed between the two visits have not been without their challenges but they have helped build my faith and my knowledge of Jesus. As we drove to Mount Tabor, a mountain east of the sea of Galilee and where it is believed the transfiguration of Jesus occurred, I thought about those in between years and how the Lord has changed me. Like many, many Christians who face trials and difficulties we can either run away from God or run towards him. It has been my experience to do both at times but I have found that when we choose to run to him and continue to climb the mountain that has appeared before us, that he never fails to lift us up, prevent us from falling, provide shelters to rest on and blankets in the cold. More than that, he shows us the power of perseverance and how that can deeply affect our walk with him and our outlook on life.

It took about 40 minutes to reach Mount Tabor by car. The steep climb out of Galilee was breathtaking with views across the lake right into the Golan heights and Jordan. We stopped to take photos as it was late afternoon and the sun was starting to sink in the sky once again after it's tireless onslaught of burning heat. As we drove on, another range of mountains confronted us, high and grand, with one peak standing out from the rest. The dome like shape was Mount Tabor and the ascent by car seemed to go on and on , back and forth through zig zagged tracks working their way up the side of this wonderful place. I wondered just how long it took Jesus to walk all the way from Galilee with his disciples, Peter, James and John. Did they moan and groan along the way or question the purpose of the journey or did they simply trust and obey their master like sheep following their shepherd? If they had known the sight that would await them, they would have been running to see it. They had no idea that they would see their Lord transfigured before their eyes, his beauty radiating before them and have the supernatural experience of watching their ancestors Moses and Elijah talking with their friend and Lord.

What a crazy sight it must have been, and then to hear the voice of God and stand on such holy ground must have been terrifying. They were not high priests standing inside the Temple's Holy of Holies where an animal had been sacrificed, but two ordinary people standing on a mountain and experiencing the Lord God Almighty as he spoke to his Son, the one that would soon become the perfect sacrifice and way to God. What an awesome moment it was for them.

I find Peter's reaction the most fascinating in this account found in three of the gospels. When confronted with the sight of Moses and Elijah, Peter asks if he should put up tents for Jesus and for the two ancestral visitors. I love Peter.. I have always loved the accounts of his life and his faith in the Bible. He is so human, so real and so in need of grace, which the Lord constantly bestows upon him. He is so like us! Peter's writings are some of my favourite in scripture, speaking about our struggles in trials and how the Lord is with us as we persevere in faith. He points us to the glorious sight of our inheritance. I wonder if this experience here with Jesus shaped his view on things. What an amazing experience, to see the lord Jesus transfigured before them, his face shining like the sun and his clothes becoming as white as light. The humanity of Jesus evaporating into the eternal vision of just who he was, King of the Universe, God's precious Son. No wonder they were terrified and yet this glorious sight awaits us at the top of our mountains. We will be free and home at last, unafraid and in wonder at his mercy towards us. The journey getting there may be one of numerous mountain climbs and deep valley experiences but it will be worth it. It was really a wonderful view when we finally reached the top of Mount Tabor but how much better will heaven be when we finally arrive there!

The Israel Diaries -part 2- 'Enter the Holy'

'At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"......with a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "surely this man was the Son of God!" Mark 15:33-38


It was a busy and atmospheric Shabbat evening at the Western wall. The crowds were praying, dancing and singing and generally celebrating the coming of the Sabbath. There were tourists like ourselves wandering around and being told off for taking photos which is considered 'work' and so forbidden on the Sabbath. Friday night at the wailing wall, on the eve of Shabbat, (the Jewish Sabbath), is a place like no other. The crowds come and keep coming, the noise of celebration is everywhere and the place feels alive with emotions. We decided to find an area amongst the houses that crowd the old city, where we could watch the excitement below. The western wall, or wailing wall as it is also known, is the remaining part of the temple that stood here 2000 years ago when Jesus was walking the earth. Standing in its place today is the extravagant Golden Dome of The Rock mosque. It is a melting pot of tension, this piece of land, where two religions meet and battle it out for ownership.

We stood watching the scene play out below, overlooking the crowds and waiting patiently for the sun to melt into the mount of Olives which sits behind the temple mount. As we observed this fascinating scene, we were joined by others, some being orthodox Jews avoiding the crowds below but still singing their prayers to God. It was during this evening that the Lord brought the scripture to mind, 'the curtain of the temple was torn in two'. I remembered that as Jesus breathed his last, the curtain of the temple, which had prevented people from entering the Holy of Holies, the place where God dwelt, was literally ripped apart, opening up a new way for people to enter into God's holy presence. The entire temple was destroyed some years later by the Romans, except for the remaining wall which today provides a place for those still living in the old covenant to congregate and offer their worship to God.

The Lord reminded me again of his wonderful plan of salvation, for the Jewish race and for all mankind, due to the sacrificial death of his beloved Son. You cannot go anywhere in Israel without constantly being reminded of Jesus and the cross. At every turn, the Lord seems to be there, invading your thoughts and showing you the scriptures which always point to Jesus and his mission to overcome man's sinfulness and reconcile us back to God.

'When Christ came, as of the good things that are already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not man made, that is to say, not part of this creation. He did not enter by means of the blood of goats or calves; but he entered the most holy place once for all by his own blood, having obtained eternal redemption. The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so they are outwardly clean. How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve this living God! For this reason, Christ is a mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance-now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.' Hebrews 9:11-15

What a plan of salvation that God would send his perfect and Holy Son to become sin for us, that he would die in place of the animals and instead of us, and take for us the punishment that we should really receive. The old covenant of animal sacrifice leads so wonderfully to the perfect sacrifice of Jesus, who without spot or blemish could become sin for the world and offer a new covenant for all mankind. It was a reminder of the depth of love that God had for me, and for all his children. What kind of God would love us so much that he would lay the punishment that we justly deserve on his beloved Son? Surely only a God of love would do that? What a plan of salvation! How the law led the way for that day 2000 years ago. How we are so so privileged to be able to enter the most Holy place, that is God's presence, because of Jesus. How we must never forget this, always keep the cross and Jesus central to our praise and our lives, because he is so so worthy of it.

'Therefore brothers. since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the faith we profess, for he who promised is faithful.' Hebrews 10:19-23

Amen!

The Israel Diaries -part 3- 'Come to me all who are weary'

I am sat in the hotel in Tiberias thinking about God, Jesus and this Holy Land where so much has happened. Outside I can hear the cleaners spewing Hebrew to each other and flowing in through my balcony door I can hear the strange but familiar sound of 'Aga do do do" and now 'hands up, baby hands up'! What a contrast from yesterday as we sat peacefully on the northern shores of the sea of Galilee, the gentle waves lapping against the small pebbles, the only sound other than the singing birds above. I had been reminded of the hymn 'Dear Lord and Father of mankind' and the part that sings, 'in simple trust, like those who heard, beside the Syrian sea, the gracious calling of the Lord, let us, like them, without a word, rise up and follow thee.'

I thought about modern day Israel with its many contrasts, the landscape, the people, the cultures, the faiths, the orthodox and the secular, the ancient and the new. How many people had and would still rise up and follow Him? How many people live and breathe in this place and still do not know the Messiah? How many will visit these shores and see the nautual beauty each day and know nothing of the King of the universe who once walked beside them? This ancient, yet thoroughly modern place, was where Jesus walked on the water, fed the five thousand, healed the sick, spoke wisdom and truth on the Mount of Beatitudes and turned the old testament law on its head because he could. Jesus, the fulfilment of the law, was the one true lamb without spot or blemish, sacrificed on the tree outside of Jerusalem, broken and broken in every way. He did not run away from his own path of suffering and call and he still calls out for disciples today....come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest, I can heal the sickness of sin, free you from your chains and give you life in abundance.

I am so thankful that I heard his call in my life and rose up and followed him but how many others have not in this land and in the world at large? Where are they, Lord? Gentile and Jew, can they hear your voice calling them? Do they know that you are the one that not only gives rest, but living water that will never leave them thirsty? This hot dusty land in summer, with heat so intense that it burns into my very being, would kill me without water. I would wilt, evaporate and die. How we not only need him to save us but also to keep us and constantly fill us with his life and refreshing water, helping us to keep rising and following him and how he promises to give us this and so much more.

The Israel Diaries -part 4- 'Worship in spirit and truth'

The drive from Jerusalem to Galilee took about two hours with a few stops along the way. Jesus walked between these two places many times during his life and ministry. In fact all Jews went to Jerusalem for the annual passover festival and would have made this long journey by foot or donkey over the steep, rocky hills and valleys. The journey must have taken days and been exhausting.


I was reading John 4:1-45 which is the well known story about the woman at the well. Jesus had been in Jerusalem for passover and then had travelled East across the Judean hills to the Jordan river. He and John the Baptist were baptising many people and the Pharisees were concerned that Jesus was baptising many more than John. Jesus and his disciples decided to leave that region and travel back to Galilee, passing through Samaria. They arrive in the town of Sychar and Jesus sends his disciples off to the town whilst he sits at Jacob's well, 'for he is tired'. Jesus, of course, knew the significance of this stop. As Jacob would have used this well to water his family and livestock so Jesus was about to water a women and her town with his own living water and life. Despite his tiredness from the long, dusty journey, he knew that this time was God appointed and would be an act of grace and mercy towards these people. The Samaritans were disliked by the Jews, and the woman, by the account made of her, was one who knew that she had lived a sinful life. The kindness and grace of Jesus is evident in this whole story. Later in the passage, Jesus explains that 'a time is coming when people will worship in spirit and truth' and this gives reference to his plan of salvation for all the world, both Jew and Gentile. The only qualification is, like the woman at the well, knowing that you need the saviour Jesus to save you from your sins!

God's will is mysterious. The disciples had no idea that Jesus, by asking to rest, would lead a Samaritan women and her village to faith in him and they had no idea that Messiah was here for all the world as well as the Jewish race. I am reminded now of Jacob, as Jesus sits here many, many years later and how God chose to bless his promise to Abraham: that his descendants would number thousands upon thousands. Did Jacob know he and his son Joseph would be part of that plan? Did Joseph know that when he was sold as a slave and taken to Egypt that God would later bless him abundantly with family restoration, escape from famine and use the years that followed to greatly multiply his people? Did the disciples realise that God would take their leader Jesus to the cross so that he could invite the whole world to be reunited to him? Just as Joseph's descendants would undergo severe persecution by the Egyptians before God brought them out and into the promised land, the very place where Jesus now sits talking to the Samaritan women about salvation and life, so God often allows troubles and trials, persecutions and sufferings along our journeys of faith and life until we too reach our promised land. His promise doesn't stop there, in eternity, although that is a great promise and one to hold on tightly to. His promise is life here and now, his water that will never leave us thirsty, just as he promised the Samaritan woman all those years before.

It is such a privilege to walk with God in this way, allowing him to be God and trusting him to direct our paths even when they fill up with obstacles. His ways are certainly higher and we may not understand our path, but in light of eternity, just as this story unfolds, we will see that God had a higher purpose, and we will understand that God knew what he was doing and had it all in control.

The Israel Diaries -part 5- 'Making the glass half full'

For as long as I can remember, I have leaned more to the glass half empty variety! I am getting better but for others who share this diposition, you will know that it is a delicate condition. I remember sharing with a friend of similar qualities about this mentality and he commented that he was happiest when he was moaning! I rest my case. Yet in the eyes of those ever perky glass half full brigade, we must appear as the epitomy of negativity. We must know the whole dictionary when it comes to words that define grumbling and moaning. It is here that I will bring in King David.

I have been reading through the story of David and the psalms he wrote. It has helped that I have done this during my travels through this country. Being a lover of geography and maps, I like to understand just where something happened in relation to the other events - what distance did they walk? What landscape met them? What temperature was it? What did the sky look like? As I have read through the account of his life and journeyed with him on his pusuit of God I can see that David had as much to be disgruntled about as he did to be joyous. His life was hard, often on the move, in battle and trying to defend his country. He went to battle in the harsh desert sun, touring the brittle hills where only the most robust flaura and fauna can survive. I am wonderng how they managed, to be honest, as my time in the desert heat and the dead sea basin drained every ounce of life from my bones. I guess they had no choice and knew nothing else, born into that time and part of history. I am sure, though, that some people were half empty types and others half full. I think there is something wonderful about the sanctification process of the Christian as the Lord transforms our hearts and attitudes. We can watch in ourselves the transition from negativity and pessimism to trust and joy in the Lord and for David it was no exception. When he faced his battles and persecutions, sufferings and trials, he often poured out his heart to the Lord in the psalms.

Psalm 13 expresses the turmoil of David's mind and how he is battling with problems inside and out but it also shows how he springboards himself into the arms of his loving father who soothes away his anguish and causes his glass to be filled to overflowing. I love David's ability to seek and pursue God, when life is trickling out of him, when his exhausted body and mind are close to collapse. He has experienced the lavish grace of God many times and knows where to throw himself when he is emptied out. He knows that God will pour his precious oils into those dark depths, heal his wounds, turn his mourning into dancing and the night of sorrow into a morning of joy.

It is no different for us. We too can experience that very real peace and grace to help us in our times of trouble. So often we rely on other's testimonies of such victories and yet battle on alone in defeat in our situations but these promises are for everyone. No one is exempt. Such transitions don't always happen overnight and the Bible tells us that through many hardships we will enter the kingdom of God - but what a Kingdom it is! How the Lord longs to change us, mould us and re shape us to be more like him. How it is his job to do it too and if we can just see that life here, with all its twists and turns and trials and difficulties, is to help achieve this purpose, then we can stand firm in the knowledge that we really are loved by God and are being formed into something more and more beautiful...like Jesus. When we are are in the bottomless pit we can cry out to God and, like David, allow the compassion and love of God to strengthen us once more.

The Israel Diaries-part 6-'The Eagle Insights'

'Even youths grow tired and weary, young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on the wings of eagles.' Isaiah 40:30

I have always found certain Bible verses to be a bit cliched, always written on calenders, quoted on sympathy cards or given without really much thought about their meaning just because they sound comforting. I have to say that this verse is one of them! I have heard it a thousand times and it's been good, solid head knowledge at times but I am tired of scriptures being head knowledge and not bringing change. I desire heart knowledge, God's reality and life in the deepest places, in the inner compartments and spaces that only me and God know about, the soul and spirit touched with his balm.

We were on a day trip around the Golan Heights. These mountains climb up from the shores of Galillee and extend beyond Israel's borders into Syria and Lebanon. They are known to be a great natural beauty with the famous Hula Valley running from them with its thousands of varieties of migrating birds. As we drove higher and higher, the scorching Galilee heat dissolved and cooler breezes comforted us. The landscape, vast and largely uninhabited was filled with nothing, except the natural landscape or the odd car and house. As we drove along the Syrian border we saw the remains of old tanks left over from wars and the many land mine signs, warning of danger, reminded us that this piece of land, given to the Jews by God all those years before, was still in a battle today, trying to keep its borders.

As we circled the north eastern road feeling strangely alone, we caught sight of one of God's most beautiful creatures. The eagle was soaring in a cloudless sky, gliding effortlessly through the calm air, its wingspan stretching out into distant lands, so majestic, so full of strength and beauty. It was a breath taking sight, a personal performance of dance just for us, serenely and gracefully soaring higher and higher until the show was over and we lost sight of the performer. I was immediately reminded of the verse 'they will soar on wings of eagles.' What does that mean, Lord? I asked. He never really answered.

Our journey continued onto the great Mount Hermon, and through tiny Druze villages where we stopped at roadside restaurants and were greeted by toothless smiling faces. We found breath- taking waterfalls, cascading down through the mountain ranges on their way south. We arrived at Israel's most northen town, a place we frequented many times when we were in Israel 7 years previously. We found the 'good fence' which borders Lebanon, and could have waved to the Lebanese neighbours but were reminded of the conflict by the bored young soldier guards staring at us, the Israeli intelligence mounted on masts on every mountain peak and our knowledge that this town was strewn with holes from mortar rocket attacks. We continued down through the Hula valley, back towards the claustraphobic heat of the Galilee basin. As we descended down through the windy, sheep scattered slopes and hills, I saw again another eagle meandering its own way through the sky.

As I viewed it in all its glory, solitary in the unlittered sky, I thought again of that verse. When I am weak and tired, where do I go? Do I go to Him or to others? Do I try and escape or hedge myself in by worrying, or do I, like that eagle, retreat to a place of solitude, a place of beauty, where the troubles of the earth grow strangely dim as I take off higher and higher with my Lord? Do I choose to rise up into the air and glide effortlessly through the cool refreshing air, away from the heat below, the landscape with its littered war tanks and memories of battles, disappointments, wounds and tears? As I pondered that verse I thought that the secret of it was in the word 'hope' - 'those that hope in Lord will renew their strength'. We hope in the Lord, not in our wisdom, our circumstances changing, or gritting our teeth and hoping that things will get better. When we are tired and weary and have stumbled and fallen we look to the Lord, the only hope that can truly satisfy, the one who will pick us up and help lift us to that place of peace and joy. Just as the eagle enjoys the safety of the unbroken sky, so we can find our refuge and strength in our eternal God.

It is an inner strength, a change in our hearts from a place of despair to a place of peace. God knows the reality of our weakness because Jesus knew that place. He is compassionate and caring and longs for us to be filled with his peace and strength, knowing that it will accomplish not just joy in our hearts but freedom from our flesh, and glory for him. It is all well and good knowing and reciting these scriptures but there is life and power when we experience them in our spirit and know the joy of intimacy with the one who spoke them. It isn't always easy, sometimes we just don't seem to have any effort left to pray but others can pray for us and God knows anyway. Isn't his promise that his grace is sufficient for us when we are most weak? As the psalmist says, 'find rest, O my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him, he alone is my rock and salvation; he is my fortress, I shall not be shaken.' Psalm 62:5-6

The Israel Diaries-part 7- 'Why is love so hard?'

Sitting above the northern shores of the sea of Galilee, a peaceful, tranquil location unspoilt by tourism, and mostly still in its natural beauty is the Mount of Beatitudes. It's a small hillside which nestles itself into the northen Galilean hills as they stretch upwards towards Lebonan. Today a church sits on the spot where it is believed that Jesus spoke his famous words about everything to do with life, death, God, the law, the world, spiritual battles, the every day and the eternal.

The sermon on the Mount is probably the most famous of all of Jesus' teachings, and the hillside it was made on, they say, is shaped like a natural ampitheatre so that everyone would have heard this important message. Today we often forget the significance of this teaching and it's a teaching that could transform this troubled land of Israel.

Probably one of its hardest teachings is about loving our enemies. How easy it is to love those that are nice to us and whom we like. Jesus says, 'you have heard it said, "love your neighbour and hate your enemy," but I tell you, love your enenmies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.' Mathew 5:43.

Since we have been in Israel I have witnessed different peoples responses to 'love' or the lack of it. It has challenged me that, as a Christian, we have a high calling in this department as people who should be known for our love.

We were sat on some roof tops one evening watching the sunset and its light effects on the famous golden dome of the rock. My husband had wandered off somewhere and I was taking some photographs thinking to myself 'what an amazing city we are in.' I started to hear shouting and looked up in time to see 2 Arab children pick up small rocks and hurl them at a group of ultra orthodox Jewish children, shouting and running into the dense maze of buildings below which make up the old city of Jerusalem. Later, drawn by the fact that my husband had a video camera, the Jewish boys came over, huddled around us and wanted to know who we were, why we were there and what we were filming. We soon got onto the subject of the earlier fighting, of land, of Arabs and Jews, who belonged here and who didn't. It was a shock to hear children as young as seven or eight spew hate from their mouths about their neighbours. I was genuinely saddened at their determination not to listen to anything we said in an attempt to pacify their outlook. The roots of bitterness go deep and I was reminded that even children can hate when it is so deeply sown in their hearts.

Yesterday we drove to the kibbutz where we had worked seven years previously. Its borders run along the most northern road which runs alongside Lebanon. We used to hitch hike around the area and it reminded me of all the strange cars we got in, the variety of people met, from roofless jeeps to the back of post office vans! Yesterday we picked up various people at various places, hitching still being in vogue here it seems. We travelled with a soldier on weekend leave, (gun intact), two American kibbutz volunteers and then later an ultra orthodox young Jewish man with an equally young Arab man. Both had been waiting patiently at a bus stop, thumbs stuck out into the flow of traffic, both some distance apart until they sat on the back seat of our hire car. After sitting silently for the entire journey we arrived at a destination. The Jewish man, in all the garb (white shirt, thick black jacket, trousers and hat despite it being 35 degrees) broke the silence and offered to plan the route for the Arab man. Taking our map he spent some time working this out, suddenly conversing in the animated Hebrew dialouge until we, and our Arab hitch hiker, knew where we were all going. There were shalom shabats all round (the Israeli way to greet and say goodbye) and we all went on with our journeys.

It struck me that Shalom means peace. As we continued through the hillsides littered with their lush green pines it occured to me that there were, in the car that afternoon, three people groups: the religious Jew, an Israeli Arab, and us, Gentile believers grafted into the tree and privileged to know the true Messiah. Of course the Israeli Arab may have been a Christian too and the religious jew, a secret believer! We may find out one day!

It is the love and peace of Jesus which causes us to change and be able to love and not hate. We have been able to worship with Jewish believers here in Israel and speak to them about their experiences and struggles. We were sat only yesterday evening on the waterfront of the sea of Galilee enjoying a quiet drink. Being shabbat (the start of sabbath) there were only a few people aimlessly wandering around. Like an avalanche of blue descending upon us, a group of mostly western faces appeared and began to set up a sound system. I noticed that each blue T-shirt contained a psalm, boldly printed on the back. Knowing that it is quite risky to evangelise in Israel, I was suprised to hear a sudden burst of gospel music pounding the night sky and a group of dancers started doing their thing. The music of the disco boats and stalls seemed to quiet down and the group suddenly had a crowd as people flocked to see this spectacle.. at last some entertainment on a boring shabbat evening when most businesses were closed.

We went over and approached a lady with a small baby pinned to her back. She offered us a tract. It brought a real joy to my heart. They were from a local fellowship, of mostly messianic Jews, believers in Jesus as Messiah and raring to tell everyone. They had brought young people over from Germany in order to do this outreach. They were totally on fire for Jesus, desiring that in this place where Jesus once lived, his name would once more be known. The group sang, they danced and they brought a joyful noise into the dark night. They knew it was risky. They told us of the hardships suffered because they refused to 'not' evangelise. They spoke about their persecution because they were Jewish and yet believers in Jesus and they showed again how much hatred there is in this world, and in a place where the early church were persecuted 2000 years before.

Yet here they were with Yeshua's love being offered to this broken, unbelieving place where battle after battle exists in the big and the small conflict of neighbours. Here they were ready to love anyone who turned up on their doorstep, whatever religion, ethnic group or background. Deep rooted in their hearts and living in its truth was Jesus' message from his sermon on the mount: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It was a wonderful reminder that we can all love with the help of God. And if these believers could do so in a place so threatening and hostile then we surely can as well, in whatever way we know we must.

The Israel Diaries -part 8- 'Joshua's Land'

We drove from Jerusalem to Galilee in the burning heat of summer. Thankfully we had hired an air conditioned car and travelled along smooth, modern roads. We occasionally got out to take in the views or have a well needed drink. These stop offs were almost traumatic, stepping into the fiery furnace of Israel's burning sun and feeling the utter exhaustion of walking just a few metres from car to cafe, clutching water bottles to avoid going crazy. There was little dialogue, except my monologue of "ooh it's sooo hot" or "how do people live out here?" They do, nestled into the mountains and plains below, small communities of Arabs and Jews who eke out their existence cultivating this barren land into something edible and transportable. Occasionally, small Bedouin villages could be seen, looking like shanty towns of corrugated iron, washing strewn lines and the odd donkey or camel staring into the wilderness beyond. That wilderness continued for as far as the eye could see, a sight so yellow and barren that it was almost beautiful. A wasteland of hill tops and ravines, boulders and scraggy trees.

This sight is what Joshua would have seen as he stood on the mountains of what is modern day Jordan overlooking the famous river Jordan which winds its way down from Galilee, nestling between two mountain ranges which stand like monstrosities above what today is known as the African Rift valley. As Joshua looked across this valley, over the river and into the promised land, his eyes would have met the sharp, sandy hills of Judea. Beneath them, the odd settlement, including Jericho and the first city the Israelites conquered. Beyond them stretch miles and miles of the rocky Judean hills, a terrain difficult to move anywhere on.

But beyond these hostile mountains lay a land beautiful and unique, with the Mediterranean turquoise sea to its border, lush green fertile hills to the north, desert and the dead sea to the south. Did it seem like a land flowing with milk and honey to Joshua when he first glanced into it? Probably not but he trusted God that it would be and that it would become their home. He trusted God that he would lead this wandering nation into their inheritance and that Abraham's dream would be fulfilled..that his descendants would be as many as the stars in the sky - and there are millions and millions of stars when you look into the desert sky at night.

This land with its extremes of terrain, the Negev so hot that you can hardly breathe, the snow peaked mountains to the north, the earthquake prone valley between the two, was God's chosen place for his people to conquer and settle in. This land that has never stopped being the focus of history, and wars and religions. A land which set the scene for the Bible's stories, people littered with faults and failings but who searched after God's heart and experienced much grace. Sometimes these stories are so vividly written that today I read them like they are still alive. And Jesus, who breathed and walked through this rocky hostile land, back and forth between Jerusalem which we had just left and Galilee to which we were heading, always to do the work of his Father, to walk in obedience and trust, just as Joshua had done all those years before and just as we are meant to do today.

God told Joshua that he would go with him, before him, that he should never be afraid or discouraged as he would never leave or forsake him, and he continues to tell us the same. That same God who brought his chosen people up out of Egypt to this land, chose his Son to walk in these very foothills until he would walk the hill of Golgotha, carrying the weight of the cross and the sins of the world. This same God chose me to hear his voice, his gentle whisper, his quiet waves of mercy and enables me to walk my journey, my path until I reach my promised land. It's a walk of faith like Joshua, walking in God's ways not my own, learning how to trust him, obey him and understanding that he always knows best.

Maybe learning to depend on God is one of the hardest lessons a Christian has to learn but it brings freedom and Life. I know that Joshua, David, the disciples of Jesus and many people since have had to learn that it is far better to walk side by side with the Lord than it is to walk your own way. To trust God and walk with him gives life purpose, safety and joy. To walk in the garden with God is a delight and a pleasure, having him accompany me each day with all the hurdles and crossroads and hills that life brings is far easier than walking it alone. The ground may be hot and dusty sometimes but the view is like one flowing with milk and honey, even if you can't see that view at first. It is there, stretching out beyond the mountains and, like Joshua, we can experience its fruit if we just keep going in faith.

The Israel Diaries -part 9- 'Walking in the Garden with God'

When we visited Israel for 3 weeks in 2005, I was inspired to write many times. I have selected some of them to put here on my blog which I hope you have enjoyed. It was a very spiritual time and just being in that place and reading the word of God there gave me much inspiration. It was a precious time in allowing the Lord to bring his word to life in me and by being able to express my feelings and thoughts in writing. My inspiration was in the places we went, the incidents that occurred - being in the Holy Land, with its rich biblical heritage. As I sat in places where Jesus, David and the disciples sat, I couldn't help but ask God what relevance their stories still have today and I found that in fact they have an awful lot of relevance for me today. Their stories are our stories. As they made their own walks of faith with the Lord, so we too are making ours in his garden each day.

Walking in the Garden with God

'The man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden but the Lord called to the man 'where are you?' " Genesis 3 :8-10

We all know the rest don't we? Having been tempted by the serpent to eat the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve must leave the pleasures of the garden that they had always enjoyed, and worse than this, they must lose the pleasure of having a sin-free, intimate relationship with the Lord Almighty himself. The same Lord who created the universe and the intricate and delicate world beneath, the one who breathed life into creation, his amazing and perfect and wonderful creation because it pleased him to do so. The same Lord who put vast galaxies together and tiny ladybirds with their colour coordinated coats on the ground beneath. The same God who knew immense pleasure in his spectacular creation and great pain at man's rebellion. The same God who felt the desperation of our rebellion throughout the centuries and came himself to relieve it.

I am amazed at this God. The way he decided long ago to form me, shout out my name and call me home again. No longer banished from the garden, no longer barred from its beauty and his presence, no longer worried about the flaming sword. Yet often I have wandered from the garden, with its beautiful colours and wonderful scenes, where there's shade from the sun and creatures that make me smile inside. Too often I have forgotten that to be in the garden brings immense pleasure and satisfaction. Too often I forget that it's being in God's will and in the safest hands. It is by walking in the garden that I can feed on the river of life flowing through it, a river that cascades and races with life, a dry lifeless river bed never to be seen, for in him we have life and he is the fountain of life.

I have been given such a privilege, to have heard the call of Jesus, to see his limp body hanging on the tree, broken and shattered so that my sin and rebellion could be shattered in return. The golden sceptre thrashing out from the heavens into the blackness of Adam's world, smashing it to pieces, smashing it away into the distance where it could never be seen again. My sin, not in part but in full, nailed to his cross and forever gone with one foul swoop, so that I could walk back into God's garden, enjoy sweet fellowship with him, hold his hand, sit on his knee, my creator God, my heavenly Father, my Lord and saviour Jesus, forever my friend, my King.

Life has not always been lived in God's garden. For many years I wondered aimlessly in the wilderness of my own making, not even interested in peering in. Yet one day he did call to me, "where are you?" Not to punish me, as he did Adam and Eve, but to invite me in, washed in the blood of his Son, pure and holy in his sight. I entered with much trepidation and began to sample the delights of this new world. It wasn't long though before the worries and concerns of the world found me again and I have been journeying through many seasons learning how to keep walking with the Lord even when the scorching heat of summer comes, or the bleak barren wintry skies fill my world. It has been a journey and most of these diary entries reflect that journey, their seeds planted long ago by God in all the lessons that he's taught me during my Christian life so far. Through many circumstances and situations, good and bad, God has taught me that the only comfort is to stay in his garden, enjoy his beauty and walk side by side with him each day. This has always been his desire, to invite us back into his world, his amazing and incredible garden.



'You were in the wind,
You were in the fire,
You were in the earthquake,
and I heard you,
You were there,
Your gentle whisper,
my ointment, my life'

'It's your blood that cleanses me'

Well I have waited to write my first ever post, deciding what to write about, thinking that it should be something of an important entrance to the world of cyber writing! I know I have wanted this blog to be spiritual and about my experiences and understandings of Jesus and Christianity so, now that I have waited a few weeks to launch out with my first post, I felt the time came at the weekend when I was inspired enough to say something!

I woke up Saturday morning singing the old chorus 'It's your blood that cleanses me'. I often wake up with a song in my head and very often the song is quite appropriate for the day! As I came downstairs with my daughter Saturday morning this particular song and the words to it reminded me of just how privileged I am as a Christian to know the saving power and grace of Jesus. I really needed to know this again after having had a couple of bad fleshy days previously! Isn't the Lord just so good, so gracious? Before I had even gone to him to get right with him, he came to me, in that song! 'It's your blood that cleanses me, it's your blood that gives me life, it's your blood that took my place, in redeeming sacrifice, and washes me whiter than the snow, than the snow, my Jesus, God's precious sacrifice'. It was one of those moments, when we realise afresh just how much we don't deserve his lavish grace, love and forgiveness which he pours on us.

Well, I thought about this and what a great place it was to start a blog, to focus on Jesus, his merciful act of sacrifice on the cross, his lavish grace and his absolute love for his people. What a wonderful saviour, so kind and so lovely. The more I go on as a Christian the more amazed I am at his grace, which he continues to shower on me. As I sat later to read my daily reading and ponder the kindness and grace of Jesus, he led me to read 'the daily light', a small daily reading that my mum gave me years before. It travelled with me to university but remained in my box unread until I finally got saved nearly 4 years later! I don't read it every day but often when I do, I find that it is very appropriate for the circumstances of that day! I have heard others say the same about this liitle book full of scripture. The opening verse was THE verse that the Lord has used in the past few years to make me understand more and more about how to live the christian life and how it is all about him and never about me. Galatians 2:20 says,' I have been put to death with Christ on his cross and it is no longer I who lives but Christ lives in me, this life that I now live I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me'.

What an amazing verse which has inspired so many Christians throughout the ages. I once heard about a burnt out missionary who returned home completely void of joy and feeling useless and worn out. After years of trying to do it all in her own strength, trying to be the best Christian and missionary she could be and constantly striving to please the Lord and work for him, the Lord transformed her mind and heart using that same verse. It is not us who are meant to do anything but Christ 'in us' and we cannot work our way to receive his pardon or favour because we already have it. We are not meant to be Christians without Christ! It is him in us, living and working and forgiving and healing and his lavish grace upon us that makes us able to live the Christian life with joy and with power. It is his life in us that helps us stop sinning, changes our mindset, makes us want to serve him, share him and live for him.

When we do well we point the finger to him for the glory as we know that our flesh and natural self could never do it and when we do badly, like the other day for me, we allow his grace and forgiveness to touch us and understand again the power of his sacrifice which has already made us clean in his sight. How he loves us.. knowing how foolish and fleshy we are yet still reaching out to us again and again. That is what he does, stretching out his forgiveness and grace to us when we least deserve it again and again and again. He never tires of it, we can never be beyond help. His dying act upon the cross was absolutely sufficient. When we got saved we went to the cross where our old self was put to death with Jesus. We became new creations and His life in us ensures that we can do it, make it and be it!

He is so patient with us and knows exactly what he is doing in each of us. No road is the same, each journey is perfectly planned and even with all its twists and turns, mountains and valleys, it is THE perfect path for us, planned by a loving heavenly Father to help us know him more, love him more, trust him more and live in him more. He knows we will sometimes take the wrong turn, turn away, refuse to go, get it wrong and fall. He knows that sometimes our flesh gets in the way, and our desires rage a war within us as Paul speaks about in Romans 7, yet he still chose us, loves us and has made a way possible for us. What a wonderful saviour, who gave his life for mine and who washes me as white as snow on my good days, my bad days and for all eternity!